Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
