At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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