So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
