why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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