just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize