she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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