Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Randomize
