i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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