Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
