Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
