OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
