So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize