Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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