the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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