If that was your dad, he is hot
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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