True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
