Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
