I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
