Sry I called you an 8
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
