i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
