i just wanna soil my oats bro
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
