So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you win again, gameday.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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