Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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