turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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