She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
