Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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