Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
