just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
