dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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