stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
