I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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