can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
