Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
