I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
