grandma shit on top of the toilet
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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