i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
