I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
