U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
