Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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