i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
