My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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