i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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