I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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