I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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