it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
