Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize