come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
