I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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