Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
did you just send me my own nude
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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