I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
