I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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