Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
