yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
