Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
