everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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