I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
