i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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